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So. There’s this pigeon that’s laid two eggs on my room’s balcony. (She shits EVERYWHERE, by the way). And they hatched last week. Now, I know that people are like, “OH MY HOLY MUSHROOM PINEAPPLES OF GOD, ANYTHING THAT’S A BABY IS CUTE,” but…that’s really not the case here. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? They’re really quite hideous.

They’re so hideous it’s cute.

Okay, I’m totally in love with them.

One’s name is Stu, and the other’s name is Regina. Stu’s kinda feisty and keeps nipping Regina, but Regina ain’t nobody’s bitch and keeps nipping the fucker right back. I’m starting to question Sebicha’s (Sebicha’s their mum) parenting methods though. She’s gone most of the day and like, I haven’t even seen her give Stu and Regina any worms. I understand Sebicha needs to work for a living, but I’m just concerned that when the time for flying school rolls by, she’ll be really inept because she’s got these malnourished teenaged birds who she doesn’t understand  because she’s been an absent mother.

What if Stu grows up with mommy issues and develops a serious Oedipal complex? And what if Regina ends up developing self-injurious behavior because her emotions were not validated in the familial climate she grew up in?

I’m totally considering pulling a Daedalus and making myself a nice set of rainbow-coloured wings so that I can masquerade around like a bird-parrot-teacher-figure-of-awesomeness or something and try to connect with them emotionally. So that at least this way they’ll feel like they have an adult in their life who cares about them, you know? I donno.

  1. toinfinityandbeyonce9481 said: I literally just died laughing omg.
  2. skellojello posted this